Here’s a shocking truth: men with a history of domestic violence are still being given cultural platforms to speak on behalf of their communities, leaving victims and their families to pick up the pieces. But here’s where it gets controversial—while some argue for redemption, others question whether these individuals should ever be allowed to represent their iwi without first addressing their past actions. This debate was ignited when singer Ria Hall bravely shared her story of physical abuse on TVNZ’s Marae program. Her ex-partner, Eruera Keepa, was convicted of assault yet soon after took a prominent speaking role for his iwi at Koroneihana. This raises a critical question: Should cultural rights supersede accountability for harm caused?
Advocates for women and domestic abuse survivors are urging men to take responsibility for their actions and prioritize the safety of tamariki (children) in decision-making processes. Merepeka Raukawa-Tait, former CEO of Women’s Refuge, emphasizes that while redemption is possible, leadership roles demand a moral standard. And this is the part most people miss—she argues that Māori men must hold each other accountable, rather than leaving women to fight alone for safe homes. “Why is it always the women who have to carry this burden?” she asks. “Men should step up, call out their whanaunga (relatives), and say, ‘This is not right. You cannot speak for us while carrying this baggage.’”
Professor Denise Wilson of Auckland University adds a sobering perspective: allowing abusers to stand on the paepae (sacred speaking platform) sends an unspoken message that women and children’s safety is secondary. She highlights that Māori women are three times more likely to be hospitalized for serious assault than non-Māori women, and they face greater risks of family violence-related homicides. Wilson’s 2019 study revealed that Māori women employ countless strategies to stay safe in abusive relationships, often isolating themselves from whānau (family) to protect everyone involved. But leaving an abuser isn’t as simple as walking away—the risk of harm escalates during and after separation.
Raukawa-Tait stresses that silence only worsens the problem. “Speaking up early is key,” she says. She also advocates for a tikanga Māori (Māori customs) approach to intervention, where the entire whānau, hapū, and iwi take responsibility for ensuring the safety of the victim and their whakapapa (genealogy). But here’s a thought-provoking question: If early intervention is crucial, why isn’t tikanga-based support more widely implemented? And what role should cultural institutions play in holding abusers accountable?
This isn’t just about individual actions—it’s about systemic change. By centering tamariki and breaking the cycle of violence, we can prevent trauma from being passed to the next generation. But it requires everyone, especially men, to step up and challenge harmful behaviors. What do you think? Should cultural rights ever outweigh accountability? And how can we ensure that victims—and their children—are truly at the heart of these conversations? Watch the full report and panel discussion on TVNZ+ to dive deeper into this critical issue: https://www.tvnz.co.nz/shows/marae/episodes/s2025-e34.
